How to Actually Enjoy Your Wedding Day : Tips from a Documentary Wedding Photographer in Toronto
Here's something I've noticed after photographing several hundred weddings over more than twenty years.
The brides who enjoy their day the most aren't the ones with the most elaborate schedules, or the biggest floral budgets, or the most Pinterest-worthy venues.
They're the ones who made a decision — early on — that the day was going to be for them.
Here's something I've noticed after photographing several hundred weddings over more than twenty years.
The brides who enjoy their day the most aren't the ones with the most elaborate schedules, or the biggest floral budgets, or the most Pinterest-worthy venues.
They're the ones who made a decision — early on — that the day was going to be for them.
That sounds obvious. But you'd be surprised how many people spend the entire day performing it instead of living it.
It’s all about you, and not about you at the same time.
The moment you start thinking about being photographed, you've already lost something.
I say this as the person holding the camera.
When you catch yourself wondering "is he getting this?" or adjusting your posture because you noticed me across the room — that moment, that real thing that was happening a second ago, is gone.
I've watched it happen hundreds of times. A genuine laugh interrupted the second someone becomes aware of the camera. A real conversation that stops mid-sentence because a bride suddenly remembers she's supposed to look a certain way.
The best photographs I've ever made — the ones couples actually print, actually hang on walls, actually email me about three years later — are the ones where the person in the frame had completely forgotten I was there.
My job is to make that easy for you. But you have to meet me halfway.
Don't Schedule "Photo session at a park." Seriously.
I've written about this before and I'll keep writing about it until people stop doing it.
The hours-long park session after the ceremony. The bridal party lineup in the heat. The "okay, everyone smile" moments that pull you away from your guests, your family, your own experience of the day.
Why is this still a thing?
Nobody ever looks back at those photographs and feels something. They're fine. They're technically competent. They look like every other wedding that photographer just shot. And they cost you two hours of your own party to produce.
A few quick photographs together — you two, your people, your family — absolutely. That takes twenty minutes if everyone's in the same room. It doesn't need to be a production.
The moments that get downloaded over and over again are never from the "photo time" block. They're from the ceremony. The reception. The quiet moment between you and your mother when no one else was watching. The first time you saw your partner that morning. The speech that made your grandmother cry.
None of those needed to be scheduled. They just needed someone paying attention.
Tell Your Photographer to Back Off
If you've hired someone who works the way I work — observationally, quietly — you won't need to say this. They already know.
But if your photographer tends toward the "okay, look at each other, now look at me, perfect, one more!" style of working, you're going to need to have a conversation before the wedding day.
You're allowed to say: I don't want to be directed. I don't want to be posed. I want you to photograph what's actually happening.
And if they can't do that — if they don't know how to work without controlling the scene — then they're not the right photographer for the kind of day you're trying to have.
This is not a small thing. Who you bring into that space matters. A photographer who makes the day about the photography is a problem. A photographer who disappears into it is an asset.
The Family Portrait Situation
Look, I understand why family portraits exist. Parents want them. There's a specific grandmother who needs proof she was there.
Fine. Do them. But do them fast, do them at the reception, and do not let them become the event within the event.
Here's how it goes sideways: the couple disappears for ninety minutes after the ceremony, dragging their bridal party through a park in July, and by the time they get to the reception their guests have been waiting at cocktail hour for so long the vibe has shifted. The couple walks into a room full of people who've been standing around eating cheese for two hours.
You've been to that wedding. You've seen it happen.
The solution isn't complicated. Be at your own party. Let someone who knows how to photograph people in real situations handle the rest.
What the Photos You'll Actually Love Look Like
After more than two decades of photographing weddings in Toronto and across Ontario, I can tell you with some certainty what gets kept and what gets ignored.
It's not the posed stuff. It's the look on your partner's face when you walked toward them. It's your dad's expression during the first dance — the one he didn't know I was watching. It's the two of you, completely alone in a crowded room for about fifteen seconds, laughing at something only the two of you understood.
Those images are evidence of what actually happened. They're proof that it was real.
That's what documentary wedding photography is, at its best. Not a performance of a wedding, documented. An actual wedding, witnessed.
A Few Practical Things That Make a Real Difference
Stay in one place. The weddings I find most rewarding to photograph — and the ones that produce the strongest work — are those where the day unfolds within a single venue. No bus rides between locations. No rush from ceremony to park to reception. Just the day, as it happens, where it happens. The intimacy of that is visible in the photographs.
Let your guests actually be guests. If you've invited people to your wedding, let them be present for it. The more you remove from the day — the unnecessary formalities, the scheduled photo blocks, the performances — the more present everyone gets. And presence is where the photographs come from.
Don't brief me on every moment. I've heard it a lot: "Make sure you get the cake cutting, and the bouquet toss, and the first look, and—" I understand. But the moments you can't anticipate are the ones I'm most interested in. The ones on the list will get photographed. The ones I'm looking for are the ones nobody planned.
Trust the process. You hired a professional for a reason. Let them work. If they're the right person for the job, they already know what they're doing. If they need constant instruction to function, see the earlier point about having that conversation first.
The Simplest Version of All of This
Your wedding day is yours.
Not the photographer's. Not your parents'. Not the venue coordinator's. Not Pinterest's.
Yours.
The photographs should reflect the day you actually had, not the one you curated for an audience. And the best way to make sure of that is to spend the day being in it — fully, without one eye on how it looks — and let someone who knows what they're doing take care of the record.
That's the whole thing.
Everything else is noise.
Andreas Avdoulos is a Toronto documentary wedding photographer who has been photographing weddings across Southern Ontario, Canada and internationally since 2003. He photographs intimate, candid weddings where the focus is on people, not production.
What you’re really getting….
It’s not just about what their photographs look like. That’s one part of it for sure, but when you’re choosing who will be with you for the entirety of your wedding day, it’s not just about how pretty or interesting their photos are.
…When you book a photographer for your wedding.
It’s not just about what their photographs look like. That’s one part of it for sure, but when you’re choosing who will be with you for the entirety of your wedding day, it’s not just about how pretty or interesting their photos are.
It’s about perspective. Why do they photograph weddings? What do they enjoy about the process?
How much experience do they have? It doesn’t really matter if they’ve shot at the venue you’ve booked - but more about what their presence will be like that day.
You’re inviting someone you don’t know, who you likely won’t even meet until the morning of your wedding (or in my case, the rehearsal if there is one), so you want to know that this person will be capable of reading the room, understanding what you’re going through, and knowing when to engage, and when to just shut up and shoot.
When you hire a professional photographer, you’re choosing someone that understands your culture, that knows how to handle stressful family situations, that can direct without being cringy, that knows that NOT EVERY MOMENT NEEDS TO BE PHOTOGRAPHED! (yes, that’s a big one), and that makes the day enjoyable.
You’re not hiring a “best friend with a camera” – you’re hiring someone that knows that the experience of it all is just as important as what the photos look like.
I’ll tell you what I want….
“I actually ended up hanging up on the last photographer because it felt like she was reading a script and trying so hard to be relatable to me, but it just felt like she was going through a checklist of questions and getting herself ready to sell me on all these features and options, and I didn’t want that sort of relationship with the person that would be with me all day…”
These are actual quotes from conversations I’ve had from couples who have recently booked me about their experience searching for someone to photograph their wedding.
I don’t usually ask them to tell me something about their experience so far, it often just comes up in conversation, and given the comments I think it says something about the overall planning process and how for some people, things can get pretty frustrating and confusing.
“We almost gave up looking. Every wedding photographer was saying the same thing, almost like they all used the same AI prompt to write their websites and I couldn’t tell who was who anymore”
“If I see one more photograph of a bride laying in a field, or the couple holding each other while rubbing their noses or foreheads together….”
“I actually ended up hanging up on the last photographer because it felt like she was reading a script and trying so hard to be relatable to me, but it just felt like she was going through a checklist of questions and getting herself ready to sell me on all these features and options, and I didn’t want that sort of relationship with the person that would be with me all day…”
“Of course we want nice photographs of us and our wedding, but I don’t want it to be a thing! I Just want someone there that will hang out with my family and guests and show me their perspective of what it all looked like because I know I won’t be able to pay attention to everyone and everything”
“Andreas, I’ll tell you what I want…a set of photographs that I’ll actually enjoy looking at, not generic but also pretty images that are basically the same as the last wedding that the photographer just shot…and what I don’t want is to be told that for a certain amount of time it’s “photo time”. No…just…No! If you can promise me that you’ll just shoot what happened without making me feel awkward I’ll book you right now”….
Update – May 2026
So if you’re planning something that involves a church in one part of the city, and a photo session in some random park, followed by a reception hours later in a banquet hall – I’m simply not the photographer for you….
I want to photograph a pretty specific type of wedding from now on. I’ve done this work for a long time. I’ve seen a lot.
I’ve been to many different weddings representing a wide range of cultures and traditions.
I’ve shot weddings with as few as five guests, and some with over eight hundred.
The type of wedding I want to continue to photograph are those that are what are often considered as “intimate weddings”.
I’m interested in documenting the simpler events where the focus is on the guest experience.
For couples who prioritize spending as much time with those closest to them as possible that day.
Where the entirety of the day takes place within one location or venue, and where there are often less then 150 guests.
So if you’re planning something that involves a church in one part of the city, and a photo session in some random park, followed by a reception hours later in a banquet hall – I’m simply not the photographer for you.
It’s just not something I’m really interested in photographing any more.
The people that connect with me, and the work I do are often those that are planning to do things a little different from the rest, who break a few rules along the way and who don’t really want the usual “wedding traditions” but would rather do something personal and unique to who they are as a couple.
I know that comes across like I’m a bit of a jerk – but I’ve done this a long time, and I know where my style of work fits the best, and for who.
The Black Hole of Joy.
Well that’s a clickable title isn’t it?
So you’re planning your wedding - basically a very expensive, once in a lifetime party. You’ve invited your closest friends and family to enjoy this experience with you. It’s an important day that will live on in your memory for years to come.
Well that’s a clickable title isn’t it?
So you’re planning your wedding - basically a very expensive, once in a lifetime party. You’ve invited your closest friends and family to enjoy this experience with you. It’s an important day that will live on in your memory for years to come.
That schedule you’re planning probably makes sense, and you probably got the ideas from a Pinterest page or wedding blog / website - but you’ve probably added a scheduled event that will be the point in your day where the joy will be sucked out of the room.
I’m talking about the “photo time” that far too many couples plan for. Those hours of driving to some random park after the ceremony, forcing your family and bridal party to line up for what end up being pretty generic and boring photographs of everyone sweating and just being annoyed.
Why?
Who says this needs to be part of “wedding tradition”? These aren’t genuine moments or memories - this ends up feeling like a contractual obligation, or something promised for the parents. Forced smiles, sweating in the summer heat, suffering for the sake of a few photos that most people don’t do anything with - and I know this first hand, because these photographs never get downloaded or printed - it’s always the honest, genuine moments of interaction between people that are the most popular and most downloaded images.
Taking a few quick group shots of your bridal party, your best friends, and your family members together is important, but it can be done without making the day feel segmented and awkward. Don’t put your friends through that - let them enjoy the ENTIRE day, not just the hours before and after the black hole of joy.
No longer posting on Instagram.
As of May 2026, my Instagram account is now no longer active. Closed. Deleted. Never to return again….
As of May 2026, my Instagram account is on Hiatus status - some past photos are still there, and people do DM me there, but it’s not an active account any longer.
So, back to the pre Instagram days. Just me, writing here once in a while.
If you want to know when I post again, share your email. I promise, it won’t be sold or distributed, and you won’t get dozens of emails from me.
Just when I share something here….
Intimate and Candid Wedding Photography at Sassafraz in Yorkville.
This one wedding, shared by a guest on a Reddit post has been the single most viewed wedding on my website since 2023, and has contributed to many of my bookings from couples looking for someone to photograph their intimate restaurant wedding in Toronto and surrounding areas…..
A few years back, I photographed a fairly intimate Jewish wedding ceremony and afternoon luncheon reception at Sassafraz in Yorkville in downtown Toronto.
This one wedding, shared by a guest on a Reddit post has been the single most viewed wedding on my website since 2023, and has contributed to many of my bookings from couples looking for someone to photograph their intimate restaurant wedding in Toronto and surrounding areas.
This set of photographs represents a four hour period, and I only met them and their family for the first time in person that morning.
Documentary Style, Intimate & Candid Photos of People at Weddings.
“What is Documentary Wedding Photography”? - A Question I’m asked in almost every phone call with couples lately.
And I get it! It’s becoming increasingly difficult to articulate through keywords alone what we do as photographers.
When every photographer uses these terms to describe their work, mostly in an effort to be found online when someone searches “documentary wedding photographer in Toronto”….
A scene at a wedding in Hamilton Ontario. Unscripted and unplanned on my part.
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Calling yourself a “documentary wedding photographer” means less and less lately because everyone uses the term for SEO and to be found online.
True documentary work would follow a couple long before and after the wedding day, not just the event itself.
What actually sets this work apart isn’t gear or editing style — it’s perspective.
The images aren’t staged or controlled, but they are intentional. It’s about being present inside the moment, observing, anticipating, and reacting.
Sometimes what you expect happens. Sometimes it doesn’t.
That unpredictability is the whole point — and the magic.
It’s becoming increasingly difficult to articulate through keywords alone what we do as photographers. When every photographer uses these terms to describe their work, mostly in an effort to be found online when someone searches “documentary wedding photographer in Toronto”.
The term “documentary style” is a reference to the old school look of candid, journalistic imagery often associated with long form photo essays that documentary photographers would use, often black and white, often gritty and moody.
But if we were to actually be a documentary photographer of a wedding in the truest sense, the visual story would start far, far earlier, with photographs capturing the couple dating, their engagement, dinners or celebrations with family members throughout the months or years leading up to the wedding, and then the wedding day itself, and maybe even some photographs post wedding, as the couple embark on their life as a married couple together….
Now that I think of it, that would be an interesting long form project to undertake…
What sets my work apart isn’t the camera, the preset, the way I edit or retouch an image, it’s me. It’s what I find interesting in the moment I take an image, and what I’m interested in knowing about the person in front of me.
The images are random in that I don’t control the scene, but they are intentional in how they are formed - I am placing myself within a scene or an event and waiting, watching and listening for that moment to take place.
And, sometimes what I think will happen doesn’t…and that’s what makes this both challenging, and rewarding at the same time.
A short story about a night at a Wedding in the Bahamas.
Wedding photography is in my opinion one of the most difficult, yet rewarding types of photography to do as a business. Emotions are high. Expectations are even higher. The clock never stops, and we’re expected to make perfect work each and every wedding…..
Being a wedding photographer is something I’ve done since 2003. I also owned and operated a small specialty espresso bar for a few years, but that’s another story for another time, and before I even considered photographing weddings, I worked with advertising, b2b, industrial and commercial clients.
Wedding photography was never, ever on my radar, but I found it fit with both my personality, and interest in making candid documentary style work.
Wedding photography is in my opinion one of the most difficult, yet rewarding types of photography to do as a business.
Emotions are high.
Expectations are even higher.
The clock never stops, and we’re expected to make perfect work each and every wedding.
Depending on your personality type and what you enjoy doing, wedding photography can either be the best form of creative work, or a complete nightmare.
One of the elements of my work that I actually enjoy the most is people watching and interacting with those that I photograph.
While the majority of the work and style of photograph I produce is considered “photojournalistic” or “documentary”, there are a lot of photographs that I make during the day where I’m not just an observant, I am in fact participating in that split second moment with the person or people in front of me.
The photograph above was made years ago in Bahamas for a prominent family on the island at their private residence.
The couple had hired me almost a year earlier, after a short phone call. They live in New York, and found me through a Google search of some sort.
Like most clients, I don’t actually know much about them other than what we share with one another in our initial phone call. (This is one of the parts of this job that can be stressful for some).
I flew down to the Bahamas for the weekend, and photographed their pre wedding “welcome party”, and the full wedding day - this one started early in the morning and ended at about 3am!!
I met this couple during the welcome party. I don’t remember their names, but I do recall having a short conversation about living in Nassau as Canadians. They were very cute together and while I covered the event, I noticed how much attention he gave her and how affectionate he was - clearly this was something new! And I was right! I approached them, had a little conversation and then snapped one shot. I had mailed this one to him a few weeks later, and while this was made a long time ago, I wonder if this image of the two of them remains in their family.
The Value of Documentary Wedding Photography
Documenting a wedding day is an intentional act as a photographer. It’s more than simply showing up and snapping thousands of random images. It’s about being thoughtful in the story we’re trying to capture, the sequences of moments and the details that make the day truly your own…..
Documenting a wedding day is an intentional act as a photographer. It’s more than simply showing up and snapping thousands of random images. It’s about being thoughtful in the story we’re trying to capture, the sequences of moments and the details that make the day truly your own.
From the moment your wedding day begins, it should be free to unfold naturally. It’s an emotional day, with many moving parts, which is why I think the photography of your day should be done in such a way that it’s as stress free as possible.
What I create on your wedding day reflects the traditions, rituals, and cultural details that make the day yours. My approach is simple: I’m there to observe and bear witness. It’s your day, and I’m just there to create a set of photographs of how it all went down.
I’ve been photographing weddings this way for over two decades, and it’s something I care deeply about. I’ve been married for more than twenty years and have three grown kids, and that life experience shapes how I see and photograph these days.
Anyone can take photos at a wedding, but I believe these images should be viewed as more than just content for what a superficial online audience. They’re a lasting record of this milestone moment, made in the moment and meant to reflect who you are now, and to be lived with by the two of you for years to come.
Intentionality in Wedding Photography…
Lately, the words “intentional” “authentic” “genuine” “natural” are being used, but I don’t think that’s a bad thing. Unlike saying your work is “fine art editorial journalism” or whatever other set of words strung together, saying you are intentional with your photography says one thing only - that you care about your craft…..
Lately, the words “intentional” “authentic” “genuine” “natural” are being used, but I don’t think that’s a bad thing. Unlike saying your work is “fine art editorial journalism” or whatever other set of words strung together, saying you are intentional with your photography says one thing only - that you care about your craft.
And when it comes to photography, it’s an art that is based almost entirely on being intentional…with our timing, composition, lighting, camera settings, subject matter, creative “voice”.
When it comes to wedding photography, I think being intentional is super important because it signals that we’re paying attention to what is happening in front of us, and we’re going in with our eyes and ears open, observing, paying attention and creating photographs of what matters the most, rather than simply photographing every single “moment” and thing in front of us.